Yearbook Inscription

Marilyn's best friend from high school, Luellen, came over tonight and while they were perusing old yearbooks, they found an inscription that I had made in Marilyn's junior yearbook in 1987. It is as follows:

Dear FARTHEAD,

I hope your next

(and hopefully last)

year of high school

is terrific (not like

the sad, pathetic

years you've spent in

Cy-Fair, so far). I love

you very much and

hope soon you'll have

a date, or at least

something to do on

Friday nights besides

chewing your toenails.

Please try to understand,

I love you the way

you are, but that

little habit of yours

is not only unsightly,

but it's downright

unhygienic. The thought

of you with athlete's foot all

over your lips, cheeks &

gums pains me so.

I feel that it's time to

ask you for a favor - could

you please remove your

booger collection

from the bathroom wall.

I know you don't think

it's noticeable, but those

really are two different

shades of green. It's time

to close this now with

one final word of

advise from your

big sister. Never,

never, trust someone

who tells you to

kiss a cigarette lighter

in a car.

All My Love,

Wally

I don't remember writing this note - but I know I must have been laughing my ass off thinking of all of her friends seeing this huge inscription written across the front pages of her year book. Twenty years later, I still think it's pretty funny, and luckily, so does she.