Jan 31, 2015

Rod McKuen



I was going to try to write something eloquent about the passing of the man who is my favorite poet, but I am at a loss for words to describe how big I think this loss is, not just to me but to the world. The death of Rod McKuen on January 29, 2015 will likely bring about the reissue of his books and recordings, and no doubt inspire documentaries and perhaps even biographies, both penned and on film. I will simply post words that can be readily found on his website, as they are comforting and seem fitting at this time. 

A Safe Place To Land

There should be some silence in this place so thought can harvest things it's lately caught. I hope that you will take this as a resting space. A bench provided just before the clearing up ahead.

Rest here, be foolish, not merely lady, gent. Be a little useless for a time. Turn around and chase your tail. Roll on your back, paws up and out. Rub up against me as you pass. My old leg is sturdy and as good a scratching place as yonder tree. Lap the day up in my lap. Inhale the earth. Suck in my breath. And breathe it back to me in ways I have forgotten.

Arms around me these past years have not been commonplace, your comfort passed to me from out there, somewhere - dare we call it outer space, has kept me safe. Your thought embraces better than the memory's triumph over time. I have longed for you, thought up songs for you, missed and mourned you as the times passed past. Here you are. Brought back to me by your wish mixed with mine. Noise cannot touch us here. I will try and make for you the calmest place there is within this loud and getting louder world.

No map to help us find the tranquil flat lands, clearings calm, fields without mean fences. Rolling down the other side of life our compass is the sureness of ourselves. Time may make us rugged, ragged round the edges, but know and understand that love is still the safest place to land.

Rod McKuen, April, 1998

Jan 30, 2015

Bodhi RIP

Bodhi came into our lives 10 years ago when we rescued him from the inside of an armchair that had been unceremoniously chucked into our apartment complex dumpster. Today we had to put him to sleep, because he became very ill, very fast, and the prognosis was an imminent and  painful death. 
 Bodhi of the Dumpster Day One by Finijo

He had inflammatory bowel disease, a mass in his bowels, and lymphoma. He was a good cat that had a few idiosyncrasies, like licking and pulling his fur from his belly and legs...completely off. We thought that he must be a nudist at heart, because he liked to keep things really "clean,"  pretty much bald and it was a full time job for him. When it first started, we were told that we would have to put him to sleep, because it would cause problems with his bowels. We decided to wait and see how he did and 8 years later, I guess they were right. I'm glad we didn't listen at the time.
Belly Fur Growing Back In by Finijo 

He loved all kinds of dairy and didn't mind helping himself to what was in your spoon, whether you wanted him to or not. Damn, he was fast with the swipe, then he would just sit there and lick it off his paw right in front of you, like he had every right to what you were eating. His favorite dairy was yogurt, with cream cheese being a close second. 
Bodhi's Toof by finijo
He was a fan of peanut butter and in his last couple of days, he wouldn't touch food, but he would still eat a little peanut butter and in the end, he would only eat cat treats. When he was feeling good, he would chase cat treats thrown into another room. He like the long chase and he would even catch them in mid-air with one of his massive paws and eat right from his paw, just like he did when he successfully swiped your ice cream from your spoon.  
 Bodhi and Con Asleep by Finijo

Bodhi had two fangs, but one was HUGE and we loved it. When he would sleep on my lap, he invariably slept with that fang digging into my wrist and he drooled. When he left, I would have a pool of cat drool in his fang indentation and it never failed to gross me out, but I let him do it anyway. He couldn't help it, where do you put a tooth like that?
Bodhi and Lena ca. 1995 by Finijo

Bodhi loved to snuggle with everyone. Lena and Saffie both groomed him and he ate it up and let them take care of him, right through his last night. I awoke this morning to find them wrapped around him like they have done a thousand times before, even though I knew they knew something was wrong. It seemed like they were extra gentle with him in his last week and they didn't abandon him when they smelled the cancer or he got a little cranky with them. 
Bodhi and Steve ca. 1995

Even though Bodhi would snuggle with anyone, he was always grateful to hang out with the boys. He would lick the water from Con's hair after a shower and he cozied up to our nephew, Steve, whenever he visited. Any repair man who came to the house was treated to his loud meows, insistent on being petted, whether they wanted to, or not.
Lena Groomd Bodhi by Finijo

He was even-tempered with everyone, even though he never got tired of pinning Lena or Lenore by the back of the neck and then kicking them vigorously with his hind legs. Oddly enough, neither cat really protested when it happened, they just got up and acted like nothing was amiss when he finished kicking them. 
Bodhi, Lena, and Saffie by Finijo

When we found Bodhi, we already had Lena, a 5 year old Siamese and Saffie a 2 year old Birman/Siamese mix. They were very patient with him and he never lacked for a play partner for rough housing or a snuggle partner for sleep.  
 Bodhi, Lena, and Saffie 2 by Finijo

Bodhi always seemed to be a little obsessive-compulsive to us. He had rituals. When he got into my lap, he always jumped up from the right facing left, then kneaded my lap for a few minutes, then he turned to face the left and kneaded it a little more, and finally he would start to sit down, but at the last minute twist his body so that his head would rest on my left arm. The process usually took a few minutes and I learned not to fight it.
 Three Amigos by Finijo

He had a similar ritual when he wanted to sleep in my bed. It started by taking a running leap from the floor to my stomach, then paw at the covers, then do paw the mattress and finally he would lay down with his head toward the foot of the bed and all four cold feet firmly and simultaneously planted in my side and hip. Again, it was part of his charm.
 Bodhi Claims the Rug by Finijo

Another of his oddities was his reaction to the doorbell or someone knocking on the door. He ran toward the door and growled, just like a dog. We often said to him, "Good dog," and he earned the moniker "puppy-cat." His love of chasing treats that were thrown was very dog-like, too. 
Bodhi Eats Yogurt by Finijo

Con assisted in Bodhi's euthanasia by giving him the first shot, a sedative. Marilyn, Connor, and I stroked him until he fell asleep and then Dr. Sloat gave him the last shot and we all continued to stroke him until he drifted out of our lives. We enjoyed him very much while he was here, and we think that he had a pretty fine life after we snatched him out of the death chair so many years ago. Today was a sad day, but we know we made the the best choice from the hard choices we were given. The other kitties will adjust in time, as will we, but today, we all just hurt. Bodhi is gone now, but he is definitely not forgotten.

Jan 7, 2015

Week 1, 2015

Abstract Aksel 2014 by Finijo

One week into the new year and it's already shaping up to be a mixed bag of nuts. I have not quite shaken my end of the year illness (strep and a mystery stomach virus), but feeling like hell throughout my vacation has me back on track to eating better and taking care of myself. If you asked me on December 15th if I had any New Year's resolutions on my mind, I would have told you definitely not. I didn't feel like eating better or exercising before the 1st, but as soon as the stomach virus cleared, I had no appetite for food that is bad for me, not to mention that I dropped 8 lbs in about three days. I think I need to think of it as a blessing, and work at not allowing myself to become so run down that I catch everything this year.