Jun 12, 2006

Noodles in the Pool

Floating Fennel Flower by Finijo
I went swimming today and had the opportunity to meet the new neighbors. A single mom moved in with her 10-year-old son, Nelson. Marilyn and I have trouble saying his name without wanting to let out a high pitched "Ha-Haa!" Our new neighbor, whom I will refer to as Mommy Dearest, is about as nutty as La Loca. She has no boundaries to speak of, and in one fifteen minute period she told me that her bathing suit is a Pucci and cost $500.00, she just got out of the Star of Hope shelter three weeks ago because she has a drinking problem (although she has 7 months sober, she is not happy) she'd love to give Connor a ride to camp each morning (I declined politely), she loves her son (but doesn't think they can live together), and she's been married three times.

Floats by Finijo
Before I could escape the pool and get back in my apartment, La Loca came out of her apartment and began a drunken conversation with Mommy Dearest.
During this conversation, Mommy Dearest gave kudos to La Loca for having the guts to stand out in a busy intersection with her "Impeach Bush" sign. She followed up by saying, "I kept thinking you'd be arrested." La Loca countered with, "I was arrested and spent the night in jail." While they discussed the ins and outs of our political system, La Loca invited Mommy Dearest into her apartment and Mommy Dearest asked me to watch Nelson (Ha-haa!).
Lime Green Noodle by Finijo
Mommy Dearest soon exited La Loca's apartment and made a beeline for the stairs leading to her apartment. She informed me in a hushed tones that La Loca just told her that she is bisexual AND she kissed Mommy Dearest. Mommy Dearest told me she needed to go up to her apartment and "throw up." Nelson (Ha-haa!) and Connor (who were both swimming at that time), realized something was up and began to beg to know the big secret. Mommy Dearest swore me to secrecy, then dramatically ran upstairs with Nelson (Ha-haa!) hot on her trail. She came back down in a couple of minutes and informed me that she spilled her guts to her ten-year-old. She also informed me that her mother is rich and he will probably go to live with her, since he "packs his bags and walks to her house every time I tell him no." "I love him, but he just walks all over me, and I really don't need that right now." Poor Nelson (Ha-haa!)

NO MORE DRAMA Queens!!! We need to find a new home, soon - but what happens if we buy a place next door to someone as nutty as Mommy Dearest and La Loca?


Marilyn said...

" but what happens if we buy a place next door to someone as nutty as Mommy Dearest and La Loca?"

Only going to move once. Crazy neighbors will have to move on their own, or be moved by the coroner.

Anonymous said...

Hey Karen - it's Lu. I just want to say that I have been reading your blog for awhile and love your neighbor stories! I always feel so isolated out here because I don't have any real neighbors ... but then I read your stories and I am soooo thankful! Take care.

finijo said...

Hey Lu, I guess the grass is always greener, until some insane neighbor takes a crap on the lawn. I don't think it was always this bad, but in the last couple of years we have had more than our share of whacky people move in. I think I've reached my limit, though.