My Anecdotal Life

I finished reading Carl Reiner's autobiographical book, My Anecdotal Life and thought I would give it a mini-review. Overall, I enjoyed it and it was a quick read. The stories were entertaining, but not as funny as I expected. The title sums up the content. This is not a complete biography, but rather a book of anecdotes. I'm a long time fan of Carl Reiner, so this was nice, but not great. I hope he writes a full biography, because I have a feeling I will enjoy reading about his life in its entirety more than just a few disjointed vignettes. The stories are good, but the book is just a little disappointing.

Bodhi Loves Yogurt!

Bodhi Yogurt 1 by Finijo

Bodhi is a cat who loves yogurt. He likes all of the fruit flavors, strawberry, apricot, key lime, and mixed berry. He likes dairy products in general, but he is particularly fond of yogurt. Bodhi can actually hear me remove the foil lid from a plastic yogurt container - and boy does he come running. It has taken me a long time to get him to quit swiping at the spoon while I'm eating. Now he usually waits impatiently with one paw poised for swiping until I'm finished. That's when I break down and scrape the last of the yogurt from the container and let him lick the spoon (he prefers the spoon to licking it from the container). He has only ever eaten sugar free/fat free yogurt, so I have no idea how he'd respond to the richer variety. Bodhi is so lucky we pulled him out of that dumpster a year ago.

Bodhi Yogurt 2 by Finijo

Rumpology

David's Rump by Finijo

The Internet is chock-full-o crap. All kinds of crap that I never in a million years would have believed existed, if I didn't see it on the Internet. That leads me to my latest find, Rumpology - which is pretty much like Astrology, but with asses. Jackie Stallone touts Rumpology as a way to see the future.

From Jacqueline Stallone's website:

Just as a print of your fingerprints, palms, or soles and ears tell a story, so does your rump. The lines, crevices and folds of your fanny, rear-end for those of you in the U.K., can, to the trained eye, reveal your personality, fate, and future in luck and love. So they thought in ancient India and Babylon and so today. The Greeks used palm and behind prints to determine health and fidelity. The Romans used the prints to reveal hidden talents and future success. The prints reveal your whole being.

For $125.00 you can take a picture of your own ass (or have a friend help you out) and send it to Sylvester Stallone's mother, so she can then tell you about who you are and what the future holds for you. I find it more than a bit scary imagining that people not only take her up on her offer to read their ass, but also pay her money in the hope that their butt will hold the key to their future. People are idiots - and I think Jackie Stallone may be the evil queen of the idiots.

I hope someone sends her a picture of an ass so fat, hairy and pimply that she pukes.

The Hawker

I finally got the elusive La Loca on film (so to speak). Today she sat out in front our apartments under her umbrella (it is pretty hot today) and tried to sell her laptop computer (see said laptop at her feet).
She came to my attention today when I heard her yelling at the cars passing by. Again I could not pass up the opportunity to finally get a picture of our resident entrepreneur.
You will notice the mini skirt - what you may not notice is that she is wearing a crochet sweater, without a bra. I have to admit, it is an interesting marketing technique. From the pictures, you also would not be able to tell that she is quite inebriated while hawking her wares on the boulevard.
Sadly, La Loca was unable to interest any of the commuters in her laptop. She eventually lost interest herself, and stumbled back into her apartment. This was quite a show for the Sunday churchgoers heading to mass, but just another day in the life of La Loca.

Connor Floats

Summer is back again. It's hot, but the pool is still COLD! Connor won't be deterred by a little hypothermia, though. He was dying to try out his new floating chair - he won it for having the most AR (accelerated reading) points. Congratulations, Connor!

La Loca's Laptop

First thing this morning my phone started ringing. First, Marilyn called to say that La Loca was standing out in front of the apartment wearing a black sweater and a mini skirt and holding a sign up letting the morning commuters know she is selling her laptop computer. Before I finished talking to Marilyn, my other cell phone rang and it was David wanting to know if La Loca was standing out in front of the apartment trying to sell her laptop.

If you look very closely at the right front of the dumpster enclosure, you can see part of a leg and through the trees, you can see a bit of black sweater. I tried, but was unable to get a clear shot of the elusive La Loca.
This is a shot of La Loca's newest sign - I guess she planted it when she got tired of being ignored by the passersby. It looks like La Loca is becoming a neighborhood fixture, like a billboard...a demented billboard.

Small Porcine Trio - Revised Edition

Today I found a stack of "books" left behind by a well-meaning (albeit deluded) soul. When I saw the title, I had to have one for my very own.
You have to click on the pictures to understand how special this book really is. The pictures should expand enough to be readable, and frankly, nothing I write could do justice to these printed pages.
This book is so special that it even contains a "Special Test." I think the high score earns extra credit for Heaven.
I am only posting one chapter of the book, so if your curiosity is piqued, you will have to order your own copy from the prison Ministry.


I hope you all enjoy this book as much as I did. Honestly, I am only posting the first chapter because, as funny as it is, that was as far as I could get.

Herbs and Veggies and Spiders, Oh My!

This is a picture of my herb garden. The weather has been mild this Spring, so everything is still alive - so far.
I have two kinds of tomatoes growing. One of type is a Roma and the other is an Heirloom variety. I've never had an Heirloom before, so I am looking forward to trying them. These are jalapenos. I think I may have some chilies growing also, but I really can't remember.
I found this spider web growing outside, too. I didn't see Mrs. Spider, but I'm sure she is lurking about somewhere.

La Loca

I noticed that La Loca has installed new signage in the flower bed this morning. She is now selling her furniture. I apparently missed whatever transpired that brought down her sign advertising for a roommate, but she bounced right back with an entrepreneurial spirit nobody would have predicted. La Loca seems to really love signs. In her short time living here she has made several versions of her "Impeach Bush" sign, in addition to the roommate and furniture signs. I can't wait to what she comes up with next.

Wookin Por Nub

OMG!!! On my way out this morning, I saw this sign in the flowerbed. I hoped and prayed it would still be standing when I got back in this afternoon, so I could snap a shot for my blog. The management company is going to plotz when they see that she has put up her very own sign advertising an apartment to share. Her sign is actually bigger than the sign that management uses to post their contact information, so they can rent whole apartments. I am not notifying management of her sign, because the alternative is funnier to me. Besides, they will know soon enough - her sign is HUGE.

Honestly, I cannot wait to see who my mentally impaired neighbor entices to be her new roommate with her beautifully worded sign. I'm not sure why she has underlined the word friendly. I can only imagine she is trying to subtly prepare her potential vic...I mean, roommate for the fact that there is only one bedroom (and she likes to spoon).

Schadenfreude is not pretty, but this is a train wreck - and I have a front row seat.

Dangerous Toys I've Owned (but won't be giving to my niece)

My nephew, Steve, called this week to tell us that he and Gina now know that they are expecting a GIRL!!! I was hoping for a girl - I have 6 nephews and zero nieces, so now I will have a grand-niece!! I get to buy her girlie things, take her to get her hair done, and for a spa pedicures. We took Connor for a spa pedicure - but it will be girlier experience with my new grand-niece. The name they have chosen for her (so far) is Ada, but they have not come up with a middle name. If you can think of a good middle name to go with Ada, let me know and I will pass it on to the judging committee.

Thinking about having a little girl in the family took me back (WAY back) to a toy that I had as a child. After an exhaustive search for a Betty Crocker Easy Bake oven on E-bay, I finally stumbled upon a picture of the exact oven I had when I was about 4-years-old - a Suzy Homemaker electric oven. It was a funky little teal colored oven with knobs in teal, red, yellow, blue and black. Marilyn and I cooked everything from little cakes and cookies to cough drops in that thing. It was a great toy to have, but there is no way anyone would sell anything that got that hot these days. It wasn't huge, but it was also big enough to fit both hands into. The toy ovens available now are much different. The baking areas have a slot so small that it would be very difficulty to fit one tiny hand through.
Kids today have no idea how buffered they are from the real world. Gone are the days of Irwin Mainway's Bag-O-Glass. This is a metal dollhouse that Marilyn had when we were growing up. We cut ourselves countless times on the sharp corners and edges.
I owned these skates, too. Notice the teeny tiny little brackets that are supposed to hold a small child's feet in place. Those brackets NEVER worked for very long. I would be cruising along, my foot would pop out, and then I'd be eating sidewalk and picking pebbles out of the palms of my hands. Good times...