Ebay Treasure

Godawful!

Tonight I looked at about 1000 things on Ebay and most of it was complete crap. This dress however is a treasure, because it made me laugh out loud. Not only is it one of the ugliest pieces of apparel I have ever laid my eyes upon, the description is priceless.

Hello and welcome to my auction. I have an absolutely beautiful and romantic dress up for bid. This dress is made by Germaine Astor and is new. Don't settle for a costume grade dress when you can have a well made designer dress!! This dress would make a fun Saloon, Can Can or even a Gothic Witch. It will be great for the up coming holidays as well! This dress has a very classy and sexy allure to it. It is very flattering on so you are sure to draw attention were ever you haunt! It really will show off your curves!! This dress comes from a smoke free home. If you have not found your costume yet, this could be the one!! Here are its measurements: Bust 40", Waist 34", Hips 44" and dress length is 42". Costume will be shipped with in 24 hours of payment!! Good Luck and Happy Bidding!!! Be sure to check out all my fun costumes!!!!

Godawful From Behind

As hard as it may be to believe, this is a dress, not a costume. It my still have the tags on it, but it is from the 1980's, not the 1880's. The seller has clearly never seen the Can-Can, or she would not mention that dance and this dress in the same breath. No Goth queen would be caught dead (or undead) wearing or standing next to this polyester nightmare. This dress has nothing to do with anything remotely related to saloons, unless of course it was worn by a coke whore at the Palladium in the 1980's.

I surmise that if a coke whore did don this dress, she likely gazed dreamily upon her reflection through the coke glaze that coated her bleary eyes, smiled to herself and thought, "I look just like Alexis on Dynasty." Of course, she then woke the next afternoon hung over lying next to a short, balding, pudgy, and middle-aged man she didn't recognize. Upon seeing the heap of puckered, flammable polyester she wore the night before crumpled at the foot of her bed, she stoically walked to the bathroom and slit her wrists.

That's what the dress says to me, anyway.