Frustration Defined

Drowning by Eric Hiss

The frustration started anew last Thursday. I got an unexpected call from one of the people I interviewed with. She informed me that there had been"red tape" and that is what is holding up the hiring process. She then asked if it would be alright if she spoke to my supervisor and she was "99% sure she would be able to make a job offer to me." The Grandma part of me hears "There is one percent chance that you will not be offered the job." Grandma was not an eternal optimist, and I guess it is easier to deal with setbacks when the expectations of others are not too high. I try to fight it, but it's a trait we share. I informed my supervisor after the interview that she may be calling - about a month ago. I know there are people that think that it's nuts to let your boss know you are looking, but in my particular circumstance, it felt better to be honest about it - consequences be damned.

More than a month went by between the interview and her call to me. My future boss and my current boss played phone tag all day after her call. They finally had their conversation about me Friday morning. Current boss informed me that he gave me a rave review; given the questions future boss asked, I deserved a rave because the questions actually addressed all my strong suits. Current boss seemed genuinely stoked for me to get this job, which isn't as weird as it sounds, since we don't always see eye to eye, but he seems to have developed some measure of respect for my work since he came to our office. He also seems to understand that I will never make the kind of money I need to make at the agency to be able to support Connor or even entertain the idea of paying for his college education. I've also been very up front about my job search over the years, so he wasn't surprised to find that someone finally showed some interest.

It's too late to make a long story short, so suffice it to say, current boss told me after he talked to future boss, "She said she'd be making you an offer this afternoon." Friday passed, the weekend passed, Monday passed, I was off today dealing with Connor's Jr. High School orientation - but today also passed without a call to work or my cell phone from future boss. There has been no offer of employment. It is absolutely anticlimactic. Tomorrow I will go back to the office and my boss will ask me expectantly, "Have you heard anything?" To which I will reply, "Nope," while trying to appear as unembarrassed and nonchalant about the awkwardness of the situation as possible.

As a means of torture, the crushing of hope at a snail's pace is absolutely brilliant.