Hell's Closet

This is a picture of our bathroom closet when we first moved in almost a year and a half ago. It was dark, creepy and ugly, but the pressboard cedar smelled good and it was dry.

This is what our closet now looks like after a leak from one of the badly done DIY jobs of the previous owner caused water damage and mold. The job that originally looked like it was going to cost about $350.00 to fix is now bid at about $1300.00 total. We are looking for bids to see if it can be done cheaper.

This was midway through the demo, which took about 2 hours and cost $225.00. Yes we could have done it ourselves, but we wouldn't have. Tonight I am sneezing up a storm from all of the dust that this job kicked up, and I mostly stayed in my room with the door closed while it was going on. I can't imagine if I had torn up the closet myself.

This is the debris from the closet, which is now mostly in our overflowing trash can and also in several large garbage bags and some of it is just stacked under the car port waiting for heavy trash day - the fourth Tuesday of the month. So we officially have the trashiest house on the block now. YAY!

Peace

Odd Offering by Finijo

Christmas has come and gone pleasantly. Now, on to the new year. I signed up for a creative painting class today, in the hope that I still have some talent in that area. It dawned on me that I have not really painted properly in many years. I have painted designs and I have painted crafts, but not really painted, not like I used to. I think I am hoping that painting again will help me to sublimate some of the anxiety and unease I have been feeling in recent months. I feel like I am on a quest to regain my peace of mind, but I don't have a map (not that a map would do me much good anyway).

Still Life With Woodpecker

I finished reading my first Tom Robbins novel, Still Life with Woodpecker, and enjoyed it very much. Robbins has a quirky writing style that I find very appealing. The novel is a comedic and romantic adventure that explores the question of how to make love stay. There is a princess, a pyramid, a frog and an outlaw and somehow Robbins makes it all work together, creating a wonderfully fun literary fantasy. Still Life With Woodpecker made me smile, from beginning to end.

Free Rice

I was on line reading different blogs that I enjoy when I found something on Ramblin Educat's blog that struck a chord in me. Her latest blog entry is for a website called Free Rice. The gist of the site is that you play a word game, much like the vocabulary section of the SAT or GRE, and for each answer you get correct, 20 grains of rice is donated to people who need it world wide. While increasing your vocabulary, you also help feed the hungry people of the world. The website FAQ's explain that it is paid for by advertising on the site and that the rice is distributed through the United Nations World Food Program. Maybe because I am from the "feed the world" generation or maybe because the idea behind the site seems to be so perfect and so simple, I have quickly become addicted to Free Rice.

I think that there are a few good psychological and sociological studies that could come from this concept through tracking the usage of the site by individuals; better yet, through surveys that measure whether the site keeps people coming back for philanthropic reasons, or whether it is the self-competition to increase your vocabulary/score that keeps people coming back. They might even be able to generate some more financing for their site through the universities that would fund the studies.

Psychic Advisor

On Saturday, I found this flier under my windshield wiper when I returned to my car from shopping. It occurred to me that if I were the type of person who would want to hire a psychic adviser, I think I would want a psychic advisor who was seeking clientele who had it together a little more. I know psychics are looking for victims, but this one makes it clear that she specializes in that particular breed of human.

Blue Belt Connor

Connor and Nana after Connor completed his test and was awarded his blue belt.
Connor wearing his new blue belt and carrying his old yellow belt/blue stripe.
It is so hard to get the boy to smile in a picture - like pulling teeth.
I just liked how he was sitting differently than everyone else in the picture.

Putzmeister

On the way home today I saw a name on the back of a work truck and fell out laughing. I couldn't believe that anyone would put Putzmeister on their truck, or worse yet, call their company by that name. It turns out that Putzmeister is a global company that specializes in concrete pumps. Who knew? It may be a surname, but I would change it or at least call my company by another name. When defined, it is pretty funny.

Putzmeister defined:

putz (American Jewish), jerk, fool, simpleton (vulg. penis)

meister -suff.-One who is renowned for, has expertise in, or is a connoisseur of: schlockmeister; spinmeister. [German, from Meister, master; see Meistersinger.]

I Dream of Dogs and Freeways

I have had the second dream that involved a rottweiler in as many weeks. I also seem to have developed a theme of tangled freeways in my dreams. My first rottweiler dream was more of a dream fragment, in which I was in a field of yellow flowers and standing about 50 feet away from me was a large rottweiler. The dog was facing to my left and looking back at me. The dream was from my perspective (I could not see myself) and the dog and I stared into each others eyes, neither of us moving. I was not sure whether I should be frightened or whether the dog was meant to lead me someplace, since it appeared to be headed in a specific direction.

Last night, I dreamt that Connor and I were being driven (we were in the back seat) along the Houston freeways. There was also a faceless passenger. We were on a journey and did not know if we were headed in the right direction, or not. The tangled cloverleaf of the freeway loomed above and ahead of us. Along the way we would spot dogs and the faceless driver of the car would pull over and I would get out and round up the dogs on the side of the freeway. I managed to get a small terrier into the car and I really liked this dog. It reminded me of a favorite dog I had growing up. Then I retrieved a black puppy, a rottweiler. I placed this large puppy across Connor's lap, and he welcomed it, even though it was a bit dirty and unkempt. He rubbed it and lavished affection on the dog.

I think this dream represents a recent falling out between Connor and I that left me seething. Last night we made up and talked the issue through and I am sure that the problem was in part due to his teenage growing pains and in part due to my parental growing pains. I think the freeway journey is representative of the uncertainty we are facing as Connor grows up and our relationship inevitably changes. We may not know where we are going, but there is a certain comfort to at least being on the road together. I'm not as sure of the representation of the dogs. Since the rottweiler has come up twice, I am starting to think that it represents me or part of me. I think maybe the little dog was representative of Connor and the affection and love that I feel for him. In turn he felt an affinity for the rottweiler, in spite of the rough appearance. Through the years, I have had many dreams where I was on the freeway and not sure of where I was or where to exit. Given my woeful lack of navigational skills, this is not a surprising theme for me to have.

Radiohead How to Disappear Completely Video Kid A

Not the official video for this song, but it fits so very well with the mood.

Merry Christmas

Haunted

I just finished reading Chuck Palahniuk's 2005 novel, Haunted. While Haunted has a storyline, it is presented as more a book of bizarre stories than a novel in the traditional sense. The core of the story about a group of writers who agree to isolate themselves from the world for 12 weeks while attending a writer's workshop run by a strange old man. The stories told are all autobiographical of each of the writers in attendance. The atmosphere of the workshop deteriorates as a combination of cabin fever and a hunger for fame takes hold of the group. The stories are gory, gross, funny and even poignant. I don't want to give any of the story (or stories) away, but this book is not for someone who would would be offended by graphic sexual or gory details. I enjoyed Haunted enough to want to read some of Chuck Palahniuk's other books, like Fight Club, Lullaby and Choke.

Counting Blessings

Vibrant Exuberance by Finijo

On the way home today, I was sitting at an intersection waiting for the light to change when a car came speeding through and ended up hitting/being hit by two cars waiting for the light to change across the intersection. Because the turning lane on their side of the intersection had the green arrow, my light stayed red and consequently, I did not get hit by that car. So today I am counting my blessings.

Is it wrong that it took everything in me not to turn around and go back to that intersection to take pictures of the accident for my blog?

Dis-eased Woman

Diseased Woman by Finijo

I have spent a lot of time lately feeling like I wanted to crawl out of my own skin and into something more comfortable. I haven't figured out what would be more comfortable yet, but I know I will. Change seems to me to be one of the most difficult experiences we endure, and I am feeling a profound change at my core. It's frightening to stand on the precipice of what you are becoming without understanding what is in store for you. I am trying to embrace this transition, because I know that ultimately change is good, but there are times that I want to lash out. I want to make someone pay for the lack of clarity I feel and for the discomfort I have with myself. Mostly, I just crawl off to be alone to try to make sense of what is happening, or to find comfort in a good book. The days that I am most in flux are the days that are almost unbearable - this week has been full of those days.

Saffie Scratches

Saffie enjoys the squirrels a little more than the other cats. So much so that she has an interactive relationship with them. She paws at he class until she can get their attention. I think she is upset by the fact that they are eating and going on with their business less than a foot from the back door without fear of repercussion from the family huntress, Saffron E. Frankweiler.

Nutty and Squirrely

The cats are going nuts after we put out a block of squirrel feed on the patio. It's wonderful to watch them watching the squirrels and to watch the squirrels watching them back. If you watch carefully, you will notice that there is a big fat squirrel, Chubby, eating at the block. There is also a smaller squirrel, Little Girl, who has been trying to get at the block of feed, but has been repeatedly chased off by Chubby. Now she is just darting back and forth trying to get her shot, but he is not letting any other squirrels near his find. There is a reason he is such a fat ass - he's really good at it.

Disconnected

Disconnected by EvidencE

Today was restful, but I am feeling disconnected. Disjointed. Not altogether there, or here, or anywhere. Status quo kind of day, kind of feeling, kind of me.

Red Is The Color Of...

Red by Finijo