Today I laughed at one of my clients until I cried. It was uncontrollable laughter, the kind of laughter that causes you to stop breathing and your face to turn colors.
It all started when he told me that his girlfriend's cat got out yesterday and hasn't come back and he is very upset about it. I asked how his girlfriend is taking it and he said, "She's alright. It's not exactly my fault that it happened... well it is, but it isn't." I asked him to explain and this is what he says:
Well, my dog got sick. He got diarrhea and I didn't realize it until I pulled the covers over my head while I was sleeping. (I am trying to stifle the laughter at this point, because I know this is going to be an awful/terrible/wonderfully funny story) You see, I pulled the covers over my head while I was sleeping and didn't know that my dog was sick and had defecated on the sheets. (By now I am laughing in his face, but he just kept telling me the story). I ended up with feces in my hair, my ears, my nose and my mouth. (My tears are starting and I am waving at him trying to get him to stop talking, but he just keeps going) That's when I started to vomit. I couldn't stop throwing up. It was a helluva mess. I had to shower twice just to get it all off me. (I think I had a small stroke after he said that). So after I was clean, I had to clean it all up. Did I tell you that my apartment is kind of a dump? Well it is, and the smell of feces and vomit was everywhere, so I opened the window to air the place out. Because my place is a dump, the screen was loose and the cat must have pushed it open and got out through the window.
When I finally got myself together, I apologized repeatedly. It really isn't professional to laugh at the patients. He accepted my apology and said, "It's OK, my girlfriend keeps laughing at me, too."
True story.
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