Sep 23, 2012

Speed of Life

Patience by Finijo 2009

The older I get, the more I know this to be true, life (for me) is speeding up. I try to stop and smell the roses, but it is longer and longer between sniffs. I remember days when I was a kid that seemed like they went on forever. Summers were infinitely long, so long that we had time to get bored, which made us excited that school would be starting soon. Now I don't have time to be bored. I don't seem to have time between one Christmas, birthday, holiday, plan for the next. It has been years since I was excited about the holidays and felt like I truly enjoyed them. They just seem to be so much work for so little benefit, that I find myself exhausted and stressed out when they are over. This feeling is not just at home, but also at work. It feels lately that I don't have time between clients, projects, or audits at work to breathe, and I find myself inhaling deeply as I leave the office each day. Even the things I enjoy like reading and painting have become laborious. I don't seem to have time to read books anymore and since I have started working at my art in the last year, it has been fun, but also made me feel stressed by deadlines. Sometimes I wonder if it is worth it, and I am relieved to know that most of the time it is.

I would like to finish out this year with more of my home and work projects done or at least up to date, and start next year with more vigor than I feel like I have at the moment. I am taking October off from doing any art shows. I will attend, but don't want to feel stressed about being in the show. I want to reorganize my back room and turn it into a functional studio for me to paint in. I also want to clean out my closets and get rid of half of what is hanging in them. I want to break free of stuff and try to slow down. I think my goal over the next few weeks will be to slow down and hopefully slow down my speed of life and enjoy the events, people, and things that make me happy.

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