I am in that strange place that I find myself occupying on quiet weekend mornings when Connor and Marilyn are still asleep. I have the back door open (gates up for the cats) and I'm listening to Sirius Coffee House, so the mood is mellow. I hung mosquito netting to prevent the squirrels from getting my tomatoes this year, but I haven't secured it yet and the breeze is blowing it in the most beautifully fluid way. I turned to my blog for the first time in weeks and realized that I have many entries started, but not finished. I posted a few of them and will likely post some others, but think I need to start fresh and just start entering things as they happen. I have been hung up on the order of things lately, but that OCD behavior is stopping my flow altogether. I am in a pensive place and thinking about my mortality and my future. I know they are mutually exclusive right up to the point of their intersection. I wonder if my ducks are in a row, if my papers are in one place, my passwords accessible. I wonder a lot of things this morning as I drift in and out of hopeful and borderline morose thoughts. I am neither happy, nor sad, but somehow both. Nothing is linear for me today, so I will bring out some of the posts I never finished and get them off the shelf without actually working on them. In spite of errors in my posts, I try to be a perfectionist when I post and that takes time I don't feel like I have this morning. This is my ode to randomness - enjoy.
11/28/07 - "The last time I was really productive artistically, was about 13 years ago. At that time I gave up my creative space for a good cause, Connor and Marilyn. I finally settled on a space in the house where I can paint, although it has taken me over a year to figure it out. To be honest, I didn't put much thought into it until recently, but I'm glad now that I have a spot. Not that I am expecting a huge amount of production, but at least it is a place that I can keep set up for when the mood strikes. I have been slowly easing back into the idea of painting again and to be honest, it's a little daunting to go back to it after all this time. Still, I am glad I have a place to work again." Vibrant Exuberance (2005) by Finijo
2005 - One of the saddest sights you will ever see is an aging stoner chic that passed her prime in the late 70's/early 80's. You can usually spot them, because they have a tendency to cause a stir wherever they go. They have an Anna Nichole Smith quality to their behavior, a vapid coquettism that is strangely surreal. It's like they are simultaneously experiencing a hang over, a head rush and the Rapture. They exude the scent of patchouli and cigarettes and they have raspy voices from the smoking and hard partying they have done for the last 20+ years. They are long past getting by on "cute," but they persist in flirting their way through life, because it worked so well on the security guard at the Stones concert in 1978. With toothless grins, they flash their weathered chests expecting an ovation. It is uncomfortable to watch, but like a living train wreck, you can't look away.
This thought came to me after seeing a woman in the building where I worked at the time. She was making a comi-tragic scene that reminded me of my older sister, Linda. Beautiful Victim (1974) by Gottfried Helwein
No Child Left Behind is a load of horse shit. It's a Texas-sized lie started in Houston by Dr. Rod Paige and perpetuated by George W. Bush, because he apparently never met a lie he could pass up.
This random rage came to me after listening to George W. Bush spout off about the improvements he planned to make to our educational system. It doesn't matter if it was term one or term two - both were nightmares we havenot quite awakened from.
Huddie Leadbetter was the given name of the blues icon, Leadbelly. He had a voice like gravel and pain...
Please, Governor Neff, Be good 'n' kind
Have mercy on my great long time...
I don't see to save my soul
If I don't get a pardon, try me on a parole...
If I had you, Governor Neff, like you got me
I'd wake up in the mornin' and I'd set you free
This post had to have been started in 1995 around the time of my Napster addiction. I reveled in music I could not hear any other way. I don't care what anyone says, mp3's and Napster was the best thing that could have happened to music at that time. It allowed so many of us to indulge ourselves in out of print and obscure music of the past and new music that otherwise would not have had an avenue for release.
QUOTES FROM THE DEAD
ca. 1995 - At lunch today, I was scrolling through other blogs and I came across one in which the author posted a favorite quote from his grandmother. This is it: Man was given imagination to compensate for what he is not,And a sense of humor to console him for what he is.-Neil Stockman's Letter. It made me laugh out loud, so I stole it for my blog. It did make me think of some of the favorite quotes and sayings from my family.
You'd have had a rosewood casket, if you'd just kept your mouth shut. - Grandma
It's the government, Stupid. - Linda
Damn Communist government. - Linda
Our sister was a wonderfully eccentric woman with some definite, albeit odd (and sometimes humorous) ideas that vacillated between paranoia and reality. I miss her and Grandma so much, still. Grandma's quote has a story that goes along with it, but I will leave it to your imagination.
I still have about 20 more posts that I may throw out here randomly the next time I feel like cleaning house.